According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), an estimated 40 million adults in the US suffer from anxiety every year, with 264 million people worldwide. 

And the last few years living through a worldwide pandemic has only exacerbated anxiety issues.

Women, who are twice as likely to be affected as men, are feeling the brunt of the struggles. More and more worries are adding to that mental load – whether it be keeping her family healthy, balancing child care and work or simply being able to get out of the house without fears and anxieties.

Unfortunately, many of these worries and anxieties surface at bedtime, making it a challenge to quiet the mind and sleep well.

So what can you do to improve your sleep quality when intrusive thoughts fill your mind?

Below are some tried and true tips to ease those anxieties and help you relax a little more at night.

How to ease anxieties and sleep better at night

LIMIT CAFFEINE INTAKE

Whether it’s coffee, soda, or candy, caffeine is a stimulant and is made to keep you awake. While this is helpful when you need a boost of energy during the day, it can interfere with restful sleep at night and add to the jitters. Remember to limit your caffeine intake each day and try to avoid it as much as possible in the evenings.

AVOID SCREENS AT BEDTIME

We all know this is easier said than done, but staring at your phone right before you go to bed, can keep you up longer than you intend. The Blue light of screens is known to interfere with sleep, even after you put it away. The best practice is to turn off screens about 1 hour before you plan to sleep…it may take time to adjust to, so I suggest you work your way up to an hour gradually.

MEDITATE or Practice deep breathing

The benefits of slow, deep rhythmic breathes are well documented. Inhaling and exhaling in this manner, has the power to release negative energy and bring in calm soothing energy. Practicing this throughout the day, and as you lay down in bed can help relax both your mind and body.

USE A BEDTIME TO-DO LIST

Take some of the mental load out of your head and onto paper — because we all know EVERY thought tends to come to mind when winding down for the night. One thing I like to do is keep a journal on my nightstand. This way I can quickly jot down all the things that fill my mind and be ready to tackle them the next day. And if I have an urgent thought pop in my head after I do lay down, I don’t have to run out of bed or add it to a phone calendar.

TRY A WEIGHTED BLANKET

Weighted blankets have been growing in popularity recently, as more and more people tout their calming benefits.

This type of blanket is heavier than a normal blanket, either densely knitted or filled with glass beads and other fillings to promote calmness and relaxation. The deep pressure provided is meant to stimulate the production of serotonin feel-good hormones, reduce stress hormones, and increase the levels of the sleep hormone, melatonin.

The Hush Weighted Blanket

One weighted blanket that is worth considering to help ease those bedtime anxieties is the Hush Classic Blanket designed for insomniacs, those who toss and turn or wake up throughout the night, and those who have occasional stressful days.

I recently got to check out the blanket to see it in action. The first thing I noticed was how heavy the blanket truly is — exactly how the pressure is meant to work to ease stress and increase those feel-good serotonin levels.

As far as what it feels like, the Hush is made of super comfortable microfiber material and includes a duvet cover with super-soft minky threading. It mimics the warm comfort of being wrapped in a baby-like swaddle.

I really like the fact that I can separate the cover to throw in the wash and still use the inner blanket as is too.

You can get the blanket in a variety of sizes to accommodate your lifestyle too — Twin blankets wrap around one for a stress-relieving cocoon feel, while Queen/King is made to be shared. The blanket is designed to be about 10% of your body weight, so keep this in mind when choosing a size.

The queen blanket is just what an anxious mom like myself needs right now.

I often have every worry and to-do pop in my head the minute I lay down… it becomes a vicious cycle and struggle to wind down after a long day. The pressure from the blanket helps to provide that restful nudge I need. I also like the fact that I can layer it on top of my regular comforter to induce sleep or use it alone.

For a cold sleeper like me, the heaviness and added warmth the blanket provides is a great fit. However, if you’re one to get too hot or sweaty at night, the Hush Iced might be a better option — it is designed to add a cooling effect for hot sleepers.

I’ve only had the Hush blanket for a few days, but can already see why so many others have turned to weighted blankets for anxiety relief. It provides that that physical comfort and warm fuzzy feeling to help keep your worries at bay, if just for the night.

You can check out the array of weighted blankets Hush offers HERE. (They even had blankets for kids).

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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But did you know they also have a convenient shopping app?

Yes! And it’s an app that makes finding daily deals even easier for busy moms like me always on the go, stocking up on essentials for the kids and home.

It’s my newest indulgent when I’m sitting comfortably in bed and have a few minutes to myself after tucking the kids in for the night.

Zulily App: Why it’s my favorite late-night shopping ritual

Popular brands at affordable prices 

I’ll admit it: as a mom of three, I don’t get much uninterrupted time to shop. When I do, it usually involves sitting at my computer, browsing different websites for the kids, and waiting for a sale to pop up. It often becomes a time-consuming activity going down the rabbit hole searching for the best deals on quality products.

That’s why I’ve really enjoyed shopping via the Zulily app.

Zulily helps me tone down that comparison shopping with its daily deals and price matching perks. I always know I’m getting the best deal and don’t feel guilty adding things to my cart.

Never miss a deal

Of course, with little ones, it’s easy to get distracted doing anything, including shopping. You hear of a sale, go to your computer with the intention to snag a few deals while you can, but then have to step away to handle snack duty, sibling rivalry, or clean-up. And then when you get back online, the items are out of stock or the sale is over! This has happened to me more than I care to admit.

With the Zulily app, I can favorite items on my list or tap on the sale icon to get an alert on my phone when it begins — this way I am always in the know and don’t miss my absolute must-haves for the season!

Plan ahead

Like many moms unwinding after a long day, all of my to-dos come to mind at bedtime…when I’m trying to relax.

This can be a good or bad thing that makes actually falling asleep a challenge. But for those nights that I’m up in bed and scrolling my phone already, it means a chance to plan ahead. With the Zulily app, I can quickly add a few forgotten items to my cart, decide on my favorites and finish processing my order!

Shop for everything in one place

With the Zulily app on my phone, I’m finding myself spending less time on other shopping apps — because I know I am already getting the best deal AND can shop for everyone in the family. There’s no need to add many more. 

I like to think of it as my one-stop shop.

Home decor items? Kid’s clothes? Shoes for mom? Birthday toys? Gift for the in-laws? There’s an app for that — the Zulily app!

Then when I put my phone away for the night, I can finally let go, knowing I’ve got a little less on my to-do list and get some much-needed zzz’s!

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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The recent days and weeks have been challenging for everyone, but might especially feel like a big punch in the gut to new moms everywhere.

Why the pandemic is HARD for new moms

The postpartum recovery period (typically seen as the first 6-8 weeks after birth) can generally feel like an isolating time for new moms. This is the time when a mom is taking it easy indoors as she heals and spends time with her new baby. Usually, she has a support person there to assist.

If you’re going through this and following the recommended guidelines from most doctors, you’ve kept the baby away from large crowds or groups for several weeks or even months. You may have even missed out on get-togethers with friends and family.

In many cultures, it’s normal for new mothers to be in this period of confinement for up to 40 days.

You’ve sacrificed your sanity, feeding a crying baby on demand like a milk machine. You’ve lived in a blur of sleepless days and nights. You’ve given your postpartum body time to heal, all while managing a whirlwind of emotions — from pure bliss to postpartum depression.

It can be a very emotionally trying and socially isolating time.

But now during a global pandemic, just when you feel ready and comfortable enough to take your baby out of the house, you’re told to stay at home…

and INDEFINITELY. 

Visiting family, meeting up with mommy groups or simply venturing out to normalcy must take a long pause.

Saying it’s a tough time is an understatement.

This has, of course, contributed to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and even more depression.

And it hurts.

But as much as it does, it’s something that must be done to get everyone safely through this time.

And it makes you feel stuck even more.

If you’re home with a baby, you might fall into one of the categories below:

• It’s you, baby, and your partner
• It’s you, baby, your other children, and partner
• Or it’s just you and a baby/babies

And that last one is the MOST difficult situation to manage. 

Maybe your spouse needs to go out each day for essential work, leaving this time to “stay at home and bond with family” feel really unfair. Because at a time when you need the MOST help in your life, you have to go at it alone.

So what can you do when you are feeling lonely as a new mom and need help?

What you need to focus on FIRST as a lonely, overwhelmed mom

Try not to lose hope or become despaired. There is still a way to overcome these feelings and manage your mental health.

And it all truly starts with your mindset. 

For a while, I always thought that just meant being positive…and all this nonsensical talk. It sounded hopeful but felt impractical when you needed immediate solutions. 

But the truth is, if you can’t change the way you see things, you will not change your experience.

“The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven.” – John Milton

Let that sink in.

For as tough and isolating as being home alone is, if you find a way to see the positives in it, you start to be able to cope with the hand of cards you’ve been dealt with.

• Stuck at home with a baby then becomes -> being there for major milestones
• Surrounded by wild kids means –> embracing the chaos and silliness with little ones
• Trapped at home for months means –> keeping your family and friends safe
• Alone and without help can still become –> learning to adjust and grow stronger in the process

Perspective can really change everything.

The Best Ways to Overcome New Mom Loneliness at Home

Now let’s talk about more specific ideas to help you stop feeling so lonely at home.

Join an online support group

You may already be a part of numerous Facebook groups for pregnancy or local events, but now more than ever do you need to seek comfort in a new mom support groups close to you.

When choosing a support group it may be overwhelming with all the options — there are some groups with tens of thousands of members…all over the country. I would recommend starting local whenever possible — do a search for “New Moms of [Insert Town Name]” to get started. This will provide a much more intimate experience with moms who are in or around you and is a plus for later when you are finally able to get out of the house and connect in person.

If that doesn’t lend too many options, do a wider search for “new moms” — keeping in mind that you can narrow your criteria most of the time. Example “new moms with twins” or “new moms nursing group” can provide a more narrow, targeted result.

You can also opt to join our own Mom Village community to get started and provide positivity during this unprecedented time.

Connect with others virtually

This is an ideal option to catch up with family and friends you already know. And in today’s day and age you have an abundance of options — Facebook, Zoom, Google Hangouts — are the most popular video platforms to connect with.

They may not be physically there with you, but that face-to-face connection time definitely can be so comforting during hard times.

Take classes online

While these zoom calls are suddenly all the rage, did you know about the plethora of online support classes available for moms everywhere?? Classes provide a little educational distraction to take your mind off the loneliness.

The options range from everything between labor and delivery prep to postpartum and mental health support. Plus most of these online classes come at a fraction of in-person cost.

Below are some of my top picks based on the recommendations of many:

• Birth It Up – online birth preparation class for moms looking to go the natural route
• Birth It Up 2 – online birth preparation class for moms looking to get an epidural
• Milkology – affordable online breastfeeding education classes that set you up with the basics whether your a new breastfeeding mom, exclusive pumper or mom heading back to work

Get out of the house

While you may feel stuck at home during these stay-at-home orders, that doesn’t mean you can’t step outside for fresh air. Of course, you want to stay away from crowds, public spaces and keep your 6 ft distance on daily walks. But you can still step out of the house for a change of scenery and to maintain your sanity.

Studies have shown the wonders getting outdoors into nature can do for all. A Harvard Medical study found a strong connection between time spent in nature and reduced stress, anxiety and depression.

The reasoning? According to Dr. J. Strauss, focusing on nature helps to “distract your mind from negative thinking, so your thoughts become less filled with worry.”

The research is clear.

Find a way to take a nature walk with your babies — strap them to you in a trusted carrier or break out the stroller. Even a few minutes outside appreciating life has the power to change your mentality and fill you with a sense of peace and happiness.

Everything you need to overcome feeling lonely at home.

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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The post How to Survive the New Mom Loneliness When You’re Stuck At Home appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I walked down the hall. And as I stepped back to do a double take, I was aghast. The unhappy face staring back at me was unrecognizable. Dark under eye circles, patchy acne-prone skin, chapped lips, a dry flakey scalp visible (despite the messy mom bun), and even a new anger wrinkle piercing it’s way through over the last couple years.

An overwhelmed mom of three still in pajamas stood before me…one who could not make time to care for her own basic needs.

I was lacking those very things I seemed to take for granted before becoming a mom:

• A fresh shower
• Combed hair
• Moisturized skin
• A clearer complexion
• Clean clothes
• Sleeping through the night

The Many Jobs of a SAHM

But honestly, when you’re a mom that’s home all day with the kids just trying to SURVIVE another day, who has time for all that self-care, really?

Not me.

Okay, let’s face it. As a stay-at-home mom you will find unique difficulties that arise daily. Chasing toddlers, wiping butts, picking up Legos and enforcing time-outs. You play the role of everyone from maid and chef to teacher and referee. So when 95% of your time is spent doing things (yes, necessary things!) for others, it’s hard to find time to fit yourself in the schedule.

The Secret to Finding Time

But if there’s one lesson I’ve learned the hard way after being home with my kids for almost 6 years, it’s this: if you want more time, the best way to get it is to simply MAKE TIME. That includes making time for yourself! Because the truth is, you will never have MORE time. You just have to prioritize your own basic needs and health to fit it in your already hectic schedule. Just like you make time for your kids meal times, bath times and play time. Even if that means cooking your meals at the same time you are already cooking your kids meals. Or using nap time to stretch your body and relax instead of loading the laundry and picking up toys. And although I dread it too…waking up 15 minutes before your kids wake up to take a shower and get dressed.

It’s not to say that you have to get all dolled up to care for kids while in the privacy of your own home, but simple changes to help you look and FEEL better now can make all the difference.

Because if you don’t do it now, what will you look and feel like years from now? Trust me, things won’t magically get better unless you start when it matters.

GET THE SELF-CARE CHECKLIST BELOW >>

Self-Care Tips for the SAHM

Taking time to tackle those basic things you need to do to feel your best as a mother, doesn’t have to be complicated if you focus on these basic main areas of your life:

Sleep

Get MORE sleep! I can’t overstate the obvious but a cranky, exhausted mom is a recipe for disaster. Sleep-deprivation has been linked to a number of issues, but unfortunately as a mom to little ones it’s something we never get enough of.

We all know the difference a full night’s sleep makes, but even going to bed EARLIER can have significant positive outcomes in your mood. You wake up with more energy and are less likely to be on edge so you can handle whatever tantrum comes your way!

Eat

As moms looking after babies and toddlers, it’s a little hypocritical how we emphasize the need for them to eat veggies, get plenty of liquids and choose healthy food groups as much as possible, but it’s a shame we often don’t hold ourselves to the same standards.

You know what I’m talking about mama…when you’re low on time and just need a snack you reach for the chocolate cookies, chips or box of donuts! Don’t give in to the constant sugar-cravings — moderation is key — it’ll only add to the urge to keep your cool and yell at your kids.

Just as eating healthy is key when you’re a mom needing to nourish yourself, simply finishing your meals is equally important. Because when we’re so occupied with handling the day-to-day worries, we often push aside that plate and skimp on meals…which is almost just as bad or worse than grabbing sweets.

Groom

You worry about when your kids need to bath, brush their teeth and change their clothes, but you forget to prioritize your own appearance. Granted it may take a little longer for mom to get ready, but you just need to remember to keep it simple. Take a quick shower, wash your face and change your clothes (it doesn’t matter if you go for the yoga pants or workout gear) as long as you feel comfortable is key. Those little steps will better prepare you to start your day on the right foot!

Move

If you’re like me, chasing your kids from room to room, up and down stairs all day, you’ll wonder why the heck would you need any more movement in you life?! While that certainly burns hundreds of calories, make sure you add a little less stressful movements into your routine. Simple stretches or yoga moves with the kids can help keep your body balanced and less susceptible to injuries while running after the kids.

Meditate

Taking time alone during the day to just breathe and reflect is good for everyone, but even more so for a mom that’s been busy handling the chaos of kids all day. Because an overwhelmed mom is most certainly in need of an outlet for the stress. So whether it’s 5, 10 or 15 minutes make the time to be still during your hectic day. Unplug. Light a candle. Focus on a mantra or positive affirmation to get you through. It will make a world of a difference.

–>Get “Choose You” the self-care journal for moms!

Get out of the house

Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you live in a bubble with kids at home — the world revolves around your kids so it’s easy to feel like that’s all there is to life. But just as you do everything you can do raise healthy and happy kids, taking time for yourself to get fresh air, find your identity or re-connect with mom friends is equally important for your sanity.

These simple changes in your life can put you on the path to remember what these early (albeit exhausting) motherhood years are all about. And the next time you see your reflection in the mirror, you’ll be able to smile back at the face who’s made a little time to take care of her children’s beautiful mother, too.

Looking for more ways to take care of yourself as a SAHM?

Print out this list of EVERY DAY SELF-CARE TIPS now!

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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I spent my day being “on” as a stay at home mom.

I made three semi-nutritious meals, cleaned up two “I do it, Mama” spills, and wrangled several children into their car seats. Multiple times.

I kept it together through the tantrum in the middle of the frozen food aisle and I got my newly potty-trained preschooler to the bathroom in the middle of unloading the groceries.

I breastfeed the baby while reading books to the other kids, found one missing shoe, and moved furniture to find all the lost pacifiers.

The toys are picked up, the dishes are done, and two loads of laundry are folded so I can wear clean underwear tomorrow.

The kids are bathed and finally tucked in after more books and sweet snuggles and one last cup of water.

I’m done until tomorrow morning. I’m officially off duty.

The Anger Trigger

So I sit down to watch TV or read my book or actually catch up on emails.

But then I hear it. The unmistakable thump thump of my kid getting out of bed.

My patience is spent. I’m exhausted. The day is done and I made it to bedtime. Or so I thought.

But I relaxed too soon.

So I get up, and put them back to bed. Again. One more kiss. One more reminder/plea to stay in bed. I sit down again just long enough to think it worked. And then I hear the thump thump again.

So I begrudgingly get the water that they have to have. As I say “I love you now stay in bed” through clenched teeth, I really am done.

Emotionally done. Physically done. There’s nothing left to give this day or these kids. I have no more kind mom moves left.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be refreshed and ready to go again.

But for today, I have maxed out my calm and my patience and my understanding.

But I know what’s coming. I can’t relax. And just knowing that they’re going to get out of bed again gets me agitated and irritated before I even hear them.

And with the next thump thump, I explode.

FREE VIDEO COURSE: Ready to be a Calmer Mom?

GET INTO YOUR BED!! Enough. Just lay there. Don’t move. If your feet touch the ground again I will lose my mind. You can’t talk to me until tomorrow morning!!!

Not my finest mom moment by far.

Why It’s Easy to Lose Your Cool as a Mom

Moms are constantly firing on all cylinders, all day long. We have twenty things on our minds while multitasking household tasks and parenting. So by the end of the day, we’re absolutely exhausted. It makes sense that we’re quick to anger at the end of the day. When you’re tired, you’re never going to be at your best.

All the amazing tips and tricks to be a calmer mom, a more peaceful mom tend to get forgotten when we’re tired.

Bedtime issues trigger a lot of anger in moms because of this. We’re tired. Our kids are tired. And so we have a hard time controlling our frustration and anger. We yell. We scream.

We let the mom anger get the better of us and we often say things that our refreshed morning selves would never say to our child.

Including me.

And while we know yelling at our kids is no way to end a perfectly good day, we feel so out of control.

I get angry because my day should be over. This sliver of time before I fall into my bed is me time. My only time that’s for me.

I want it protected. I want to read. Or stare at a wall. Or work. Heck, I’ll even fold laundry if I can do it in peace and quiet.

As a mom of three kids, they’ve all taken turns being this kid who won’t for the love of anything just stay in their beds. They have all felt my uh oh mom’s really mad this time wrath at 8:05 and 8:10 and 8:15. And usually again at 8:20.

I’ve tried everything to keep them in bed.

Lights on and lights off. Door open and door closed. Insisting they stay in their bed, letting them pass out on their floor.

So the calm, collected mom that came to tuck them back into bed the 3rd and 4th time is spent. Tired, frustrated, defeated and yes, ANGRY!

It’s only natural. All moms everywhere are angry moms on the 5th tuck in of the night.

The Key to Being a Calm Mom

The one thing that has consistently worked over the decade or so that I’ve been at this parenting gig isn’t a trick that keeps them in their beds. (That still eludes me).

It’s a trick that keeps me from exploding at them when they get out of bed 7 times a night. Because THIS is something I can control.

When I feel the anger rise up, and after a long day, the anger will rise up, I close my eyes and count.

1, 2, 3.

I take deep breaths and I count until I feel a calmness come over me.

Some days I only need to get to three and I can calmly remind them the day is over, and it’s time to lay still, even if they’re not sleepy.

Other days, I have to count up to ten to feel like I’m not going to yell at them that this is Mommy’s only me time and I deserve a damn break because this is more than any one person can handle without having mental health issues.

Yikes. Must count to ten.

So as you feel the anger creeping in when your own kids get out of bed and ask for one more kiss, one more drink of water, one more snuggle, close your eyes and count.

Feel the calm before you respond to them. Even if it’s the fifth time you have to do it in one night. Count first. Then respond.

It will allow you to react to them how you would like to respond. How you would maybe respond to them at the beginning of the day rather than at the end of a long one.

Then give them the extra kiss and remind them that you can’t wait to see them again. You can’t wait to talk to them and you can’t wait to snuggle them again….

Tomorrow morning.

Ready to be a Calmer mom? Sign up for the FREE video series from my friend, Amanda, From Angry Mom to Peaceful Home!

***

Nicole is a mom of three loud, exhausting, and surprisingly determined kids. She’s a recovering elementary school teacher, a food allergy mama and spends her free time making sure my daughter’s IEP accommodations are being met. When she’s  not in her car driving carpool, she lives a perfectly unperfect suburban life. She’s just desperately trying to keep it all together until bedtime. Coffee helps. Follow her at Coffee and Carpool, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Nicole Black

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The post The Calm Down Tip to Control Mom Anger at Bedtime appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

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The blur of the first few days with a new baby were sprinkled with sleep exhaustion and pain meds. Nurses waking me up every 2-4 hours to check vitals, administer medication and bring baby back and forth to the nursery.

I drifted in and out of sleep, wondering how I was going to survive those first few weeks once alone at home without the assistance of the hospital staff.

Groggy and slow to move, I pressed the bed remote so I could sit up and adjust the pillows behind me. My wounds were fresh and the healing process would take time. But the moment the nurse wheeled in my new baby, the endorphins kicked in. Nothing mattered, except the new creature beside me.

Motherhood at it’s best.

I read back baby’s id numbers to the nurse and then came the questions – simple questions – but it took a minute for me to catch on. My brain had so much to process. There was a lot on my mind with a new baby entering the world.

When Mommy Brain Kicks In

If you feel like the pregnancy-brain you experienced over the past 9 months hasn’t disappeared, you’re not alone. Many experts argue that the upheaval of hormones after birth and sleep-deprivation contribute to the forgetfulness that often accompanies the early years of motherhood. Then it’s just called mom brain.

After being sent home, new moms have a very big learning curve of taking care of a newborn and providing for their every need: alleviate baby’s incessant cries, feed baby around the clock, change baby often, keep baby safe and alive. It tends to deplete your brain cells sometimes.

And boy was I feeling that pretty early on in motherhood.

How to Keep Track of Baby’s Feedings

I remember the nurse placing a sheet of paper on my tray so I could log all baby’s diapers and feeding intervals.

Start time. End time. Which breast I nursed on last. Stool counts. Increasing diapers each day.

Ensuring baby was meeting daily wet and soiled diaper goals was a good indicator of how much food he was taking in. Diaper counts and body weight are a few things that the hospital team uses to determine if baby is getting enough milk and taking in vital nutrients so he could work on getting back to that birth weight.

Although filling in the info was something I didn’t always think was important, it helped tremendously to avoid that new mom overwhelm or “mommy brain” that happens to many of us.

In fact, I didn’t realize how much keeping a track like this could be my sanity saver!

Benefits of a Baby Log or Journal

Jotting down diaper counts or the total number of ounces baby consumes each day is a great way to free up space in your mind to ease the mental overload that happens when you keep everything in your head. Once you get things out of your head and onto paper, you can focus on more important things like, skin-to-skin contact and bonding with baby.

Another huge benefit of tracking baby’s feedings, is that it makes patient-to-doctor communication much easier. You’ll be meeting with pediatricians quite often for the first couple of months. When examining baby, they’ll be sure to ask how much baby is eating and pooping. It’ll make life a lot easier, if you can quickly refer to your notes to make sure you have all the details correct.

I remember vividly, how my conversations with the doctor would go.

How much is he eating a day?

Um I think…well it feels like he’s nursing all day…but I guess…

On average every two hours? Every three?

Yeah. I think so.

How many diapers? What color?

Hmm. Like every couple hours, I think.

Yes, mommy brain striking hard!

Let’s just say I would have helped me answer a bit more confidently if I kept better track early on!

These little details will give the doctor a better idea of how often baby is feeding, if he is getting enough milk and whether or not he needs to be examined for any ailments or deficiencies.

Trust me, you don’t want to be running any unnecessary tests on your precious newborn!

The Simple Breastfeeding Tracker Tool

After my first few mishaps as a first-time mom, I knew I needed to create something similar to what I was given in that hospital stay. Something simple enough for moms to reference on a daily basis, that they could easily access to record quick baby notes like what time baby fed at, which breast baby last nursed on and whether baby was fussy or happy after a feeding.

This breastfeeding tracker was the simple answer. It’s a one-sheeter that mom can hang in the nursery or bedroom and quickly use to record everything about baby’s feeding without having to rummage through notebooks or navigate to a specific app, wait for it to load, and search for the appropriate notes area.

This simple solution will lead to a less overwhelmed mom and a little more organization.

And then of course, you can start bidding adieu to mommy brain a little more each day!!

Want more on Motherhood?

• Sanity Saving Baby Hacks for New Moms
• Mommy & Me Yoga Activity for New Moms
• Things New Moms Should Never Leave Home Without

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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The post Stop the New Mom Overwhelm with a Simple Tool appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

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I’ve been a stay at home mom to three kids for over a decade now. There have been ups and downs of course, but I notice that there was always a theme during the “down” moments.

I felt like I had lost myself somewhere along the path of feeding babies and bathing sticky children and keeping my kids from drawing on walls with sharpie. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was the repetitiveness that comes with the day in and day out of being home with the kids.

But I always felt I needed something more. Something for myself.

I hope I don’t need a disclaimer here to point out that of course I love my kids. Of course I chose to stay home with them. And of course I’m not going anywhere. But even if all those things stay true, I can also have the opposite be true at the same moment: that I felt stuck. I felt alone and lonely and knew that I needed more in my life. I was getting closer and closer towards burnout.

Read: Survive the New Mom Loneliness at Home

And I think most stay at home moms feel this way at some point. And if you haven’t felt that way yet, you haven’t scrubbed hardened pureed baby squash off the floor in the bathroom. Why is it there? Why is hardened? I don’t know. But here I am, on my hands and knees, scrubbing.

I am more than a floor scrubber.

I clearly needed something for myself.

But that’s hard to do when your one boss screams for you to come wipe their butt and the other boss won’t let you put them down and the third boss is having a meltdown about socks.

Related: New Mom Delusion: Reality of Life After Baby

The Key to Saving Your Sanity

This mothering gig isn’t easy. But we need something to get us through it and I figured out a trick a few years back.

Now don’t laugh, but one thing that can save a mom’s sanity is a hobby.

You’re laughing aren’t you?

I know. I did too when someone told me to find a hobby.

What do you mean ‘find a hobby?’ I’m a mom. My hobbies are peeing alone and folding laundry on a Friday night.

But hear me out.

Find something that you love to do. Or something that you’ve always wanted to do but never got the chance.

It will fill your soul. It will give you the much needed mental and physical break so you can come back ready to tackle the toddler who refuses to stay in her bed and the preschooler who all of a sudden won’t eat green food.

You need something for yourself or on the really tough days you’ll feel like you’ve lost a little—or a big—piece of yourself.

Have no idea where to start to even pick a hobby? I didn’t either at first.

Here are three ways to inspire you to figure out what you could do during your much deserved “me time.”

1. Think back to when you were a little girl…what did you want to be when you grew up? A ballerina? A teacher? An athlete? A baker?

Try that. Do that. Scour through your local park and rec, community college, craft store, and library catalogues and you will find adult classes that your 8 year old self would love. Go take an adult ballet class at the local park and rec. Volunteer at the local library once a week and read to kids. Join an adult soccer team. Take a baking class at the community college.

2. Another way to find a hobby is to pick from one of these three. Or better yet, one from each of these three categories: something that will make you money, something that will keep you healthy, and something that lets you be creative.

Money– This is seriously how Etsy got started. Have a hidden talent that you really love that can also bring in some cash? Double bonus! Some ideas to try: writing, baking, art, t shirt designing, jewelry making, party planning…what are you really good at???

Healthy– Staying fit and healthy is way more fun if you truly love what you’re doing.  Then you can enjoy yourself as you run, practice yoga, ride a bike, play a sport, swim, or try water aerobics. I seriously took a synchronized swimming class one time and laughed my way through it as I tried desperately to get into formation. And if you look for a gym with free or cheap child care, then you’ve solved two problems in one.

Be Creative– Love to craft or make gifts for people? Like to sew or knit or paint? Or would you rather write poems, write stories, draw, dance, or scrapbook? Go for it. And if you can figure out a way to make money while you’re being creative, jackpot! You can start your own etsy shop!

3. Still haven’t figured out anything that calls to you? Create a “bucket list” for things that you’ve always wanted to try. What’s on your list? Maybe it’s learn a new language, or play a musical instrument, or sail a boat on your own.

These are all things you can take classes for! Learning to sew was on my bucket list so I took a class at a local craft store. I walked away with a pair of purple pajama pants that I sewed on my own. I discovered that one pant leg is shorter than the other and I don’t love sewing. Not the hobby for me. But I’m glad I tried it. Because now I know.

Because here’s the real secret about mom hobbies: It doesn’t matter what you choose. It really doesn’t. As long as you love it and you choose to find time to do it.

Sometimes, that means the dishes will have to wait. The hardened puree on the floor isn’t going anywhere. You can clean it after you take some me time for your new hobby.

And I know you don’t have the time for a hobby. No more has the time for a hobby.  We’re beyond busy and probably exhausted. But you have to make the time. Carve out the time. Protect the time.

Because it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. You’ll be a happier, and therefore better mom for it.

Related: Overcoming Mom Guilt

And if you get lucky and happen to love a hobby that makes you money or helps you lose the last of the baby weight, who knows? You could come home with some hard cash or ten less pounds.

And who could say no to that?

***

Nicole is a mom of three loud, exhausting, and surprisingly determined kids. She’s a recovering elementary school teacher, a food allergy mama and spends her free time making sure my daughter’s IEP accommodations are being met. When she’s  not in her car driving carpool, she lives a perfectly unperfect suburban life. She’s just desperately trying to keep it all together until bedtime. Coffee helps. Follow her at Coffee and Carpool, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

mommysbundle.com

The post Prevent Stay at Home Mom Burnout with This One Simple Trick appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

I always knew being a mom would bring so much joy and love into my life…I never imagined it would leave me feeling overwhelmed and lacking an identity at times.

You see, motherhood isn’t always the picture-perfect fantasy we envision it to be before we actually have kids of our own. It’s a bittersweet reality, that’s rarely talked about.

Before we become parents we long for the days we can cradle an angelic sleepy newborn baby in our arms. We can’t fathom how exhausted and sleep-deprived that time period will actually be.

We look forward to the days of planning playdates with our mommy friends. We don’t think about the incessant screaming, hitting and biting that can wreak havoc during the terrible twos and threes stage, and keeps us away from other adults, immersed in a lonely village-less world.

We dream about the moment our whole family can take a vacation together. We cannot quite understand the reality of messing with routines and sleep schedules for traveling with little children in the car for hours.

The truth is, parenting is often much different than we think it will be.

And being a mother of young children is NOT always a walk in the park. More like an exhausted, frantic chase.

It is full of many challenges, from the newborn to the preschool years…and beyond.

So it’s no surprise, that moms of babies and toddlers are often overwhelmed with this phase of motherhood…because in all honesty, it can sometimes make you an angry mom.

Although it should be top of mind every day of the year, it’s even more important to provide some relief for the exhausted mom as Mother’s Day approaches. Sure flowers, jewelry and candy are always nice gift ideas, but putting a little more thought into what kinds of things mom really wants makes all the difference in her day to day.

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And many times, the best gifts for moms with small children often are those gifts that give her some much-needed relief from the exhaustion she’s been living. Gifts that allow her to rest her body, relax her mind and feel like she has support and friends to turn to when she’s given all her energy and mental capacity to her babies.

From those who’ve been in the trenches immersed in the early mother years, below are special gift ideas for moms who just need a little break from the kids…to be the best mom they need.

10 Stress-Reducing Gift Ideas for the Overwhelmed Mom

Sleep.

Let’s start with the most obvious thing an exhausted mother needs. SLEEP. Yes, while giving the gift of sleep isn’t exactly something most people think they can give, it is a gesture that can make the most difference in her life when she has small children. Babies don’t always sleep through the night immediately; for some 5-7 months is the magic time period. And even when baby does settle into a routine, there are sleep regressions or other sleep issues that toddlers and preschoolers may experience. When you’re thinking of gifts for a tired mom, consider anything and everything that will contribute to her feeling rested.

So how do you actually help a mom get more sleep? 

• Babysit her kids
• Gift her some essential oils and a high-quality diffuser
• Buy her some sleep accessories to help her get a more restful night.
  • Pillow
  • Eye and sleep mask set
  • Blanket

Babysitter

Ain’t this the truth? After her number one wish to sleep, a stressed-out mom will ALWAYS appreciate an extra set of hands to handle the chaos of little kids running around and bickering. So whether you hire the neighborhood sitter or offer your time, a babysitter makes one of the best gifts you can give. Let mom take a nap, go shopping, or just run errands alone — she’ll find good use for her extra time!

Cleaning Service

Give mom a break from washing dishes, scrubbing toilets, or dealing with that never-ending pile of laundry accumulating in every room, and hire a cleaning service! Moms often wear numerous hats in the home (think: maid, chef, chauffeur). Helping her with that heavy burden can do wonders for her mood.

Find coupons for maids or cleaning crews in your mailbox or simply search Groupon.

And of course, (dads if you are reading) you can always offer to do the cleaning yourself and let her relax for the day!

Quality Cookware Set

Help ease her worries in the kitchen with non-toxic cookware she can feel good about. If mom likes to cook (or just wants a way to make it more manageable), quality cookware free of toxins makes a great gift!

Caraway ceramic-coated pots and pans are a new favorite of mine! The top-line cookware is free of chemicals to keep the whole family healthier. Unlike many cookware (or non-stick pans), this one is free of harmful chemicals like PTFE,  PFOA, PFAS, or heavy metals and hard anodization that can wreak-havoc over time.

Cooking is effortless with the ceramic coating which only requires a little oil or butter on low to medium heat to get things going. The non-stick coating also makes clean-up a breeze — just needs a gentle scrub with soap and water to stay in prime condition.

The Caraway sets look great too and come in a variety of colors to choose from. This set (which you can get a sale for a limited time) includes pot and lid holders to help keep that kitchen organized!

Aromatherapy

Never underestimate the power of scent. It can take you to a very special place when you can’t be there in person. Scents like lavender, vanilla, and lemon to name a few, can provide the calm that mama needs.

This candle set, body spray and calming room spray make easy gift options.

Massage

A full body massage makes a relaxing gift idea for the stressed-out mom who needs to unwind. Whether she’s dealing with back pain and poor posture from breastfeeding, sore neck from sleeping with her toddler and preschooler or just exhausted from managing naughty behaviors that come with toddlers, a long warm back rub can help put her mind at ease and fight that mommy and pregnancy brain!

And if she needs an upgrade to that massage, consider taking her to a spa (not just one time either!). Give the tired and overwhelmed mom a chance to really unwind — ever so often. Let her get a manicure and pedicure. Let her get a facial or a customized massage tailored to exactly what she needs. If a spa gift is out of your price range — anything that can bring her that spa day feeling at home works too.

Try a homemade body scrub she can use to de-stress without having to break the bank.

Moms’ Night Out

When you’re a mom to young children, especially special-needs children or multiple children, making time for YOURSELF to meet up with mom friends is often on the back-burner.

Those mommy and me groups she attended religiously with her first baby, are often impossible to keep up with two, three or four kids in the house. But unfortunately, the more we put off getting together with friends to nurture that relationship, the more likely that friendship is to dwindle.

Take the kids for the night and tell mama to reach out to a couple of friends in advance so she can enjoy a well-deserved girls’ night out to unwind and find her identity again. And if getting out just isn’t possible, let her spend time alone catching up on the phone or FaceTiming.

NOTE: Find your mom tribe here!

Coupon Book

Coupon books just for mom are always a hit! And I’m not talking about coupon books to the grocery store here. Homemade is the key. Whether they’re from daddy, a close friend or the kids, DIY coupon books that mom can redeem for help with household chores, cooking or sleeping makes a super useful gift to help her alleviate stress on the days she needs it the most!

Adult Coloring Books

Did you know coloring books aren’t just a thing for kids? Oh yeah. There’s a reason why so many adult coloring books exist: STRESS RELIEF. Like other forms of art therapy, coloring is an easy (and affordable) way to calm your mind.

Here are some of my favorite resources and coloring books that make a fun stress-reducing gift for mom:

Coloring Pages for Mother’s Day

Adult Coloring Pages

Adult Coloring Pages for Coffee Lovers

Self-Care & Motherhood Books

Sometimes all the overwhelmed mom needs is a little bit of time to curl up to read a short helpful parenting book. SHORT is the key phrase here. The exhausted mom clearly won’t have extra time to spend reading a novel — she most likely is just looking for an easy read to unwind and take her mind off the everyday stresses. Self-help or parenting books focusing on baby sleep issues, picky-eating tips or ideas for managing naughty behavior are all fair game. But sometimes self-care comes disguised as a raw inspiring book on knowing you’re not alone in this motherhood journey, finding happiness in motherhood or learning to tame motherly anger that can arise from a mom that doesn’t make self-care a priority is something she will really appreciate.

Here are my top picks and gift ideas for overwhelmed moms looking to improve their mental health and find their identity once again:

• The Brave Art of Motherhood: Fight Fear, Gain Confidence, and Find Yourself Again
•  Motherhood Realized: An Inspiring Anthology for the Hardest Job You’ll Ever Love
• Self-Care for Moms: 150+ Real Ways to Care for Yourself While Caring for Everyone Else

Knowing that she is not alone and can make time for herself to manage her load and find herself again, is sometimes all mom really needs.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like:

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

mommysbundle.com

The post 10+ Best Gift Ideas for the Stressed and Overwhelmed Mom appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

When my first child was born, I didn’t have time for ANYTHING. I mean that is how it truly felt.

My days were consumed with breastfeeding on demand, washing and folding onesies…and diaper change after diaper change. So finding time for everyday basic care (like showering and eating meals) was a luxury.

And forget about finding room for “me time.” That never occurred. I just couldn’t find a way to take care of myself as well.

If I wanted to do anything, it seemed as though I needed to wait until nap time arrived. Then, of course, I could get things done while baby rested. 

But this was my first mistake: Waiting for the perfect time. Because what I found was that there was no such thing.

Any experienced mom will tell you, the only way to get more time, is to make time.

You just have to be smart about how you’re doing it. Especially as a new mother.

Of course, it took MUCH trial and error, but I learned to make minor tweaks here and there in my schedule to help me actually get things done throughout the day.

Finding Time to Care for Yourself While Caring for Baby

Showering as a new mom

Okay, I admit it. When that first baby came along and it was time to shower, I always delayed the process when he cried. How could I dare leave my precious baby to cry alone in those moments?

But, here’s what I learned.

You can’t always wait for baby to finally fall asleep to take care of yourself. If you need to shower, take him in the bathroom with you! Break out the bouncy chair — I used this space-saving one that was perfect for small spaces and this popular brand.

If you don’t have one, that click and connect car seat you’ll be toting in and out of the house, will work just fine! Simply attach a few toys to the handle and you’re good to go with a calm baby and clean mama bear!

Eating as a new mom

Another mistake I made. Not nourishing my own body due to the timing. (This clearly is not good, especially if you’re nursing and recovering from delivery).

There’s really no need to starve yourself or wait for the perfect moment. It took me awhile, but I learned to work with one hand to grab whatever fruit or snacks I could, while baby held tight in the other.  This works well for fussy babies who are only happy when held.  And if you have a baby wrap or carrier, even better!

You can prepare meals in advance (when you do have the time) so they are ready to eat when you don’t have the time. Even if it’s a turkey sandwich with an apple or banana — mama’s good health is good for everyone!

RELATED: One Food Prep Secret I Wish I Knew Before Baby Arrived

Exercising as a new mom

Once you get clearance from your doctor (at the 6-8 week mark), light exercises can be a great way to relieve stress and start getting your pre-baby body back.

But how do you even find the time?

The answer may surprise you: Exercise with baby! Yeah that’s right, forget trying to wait until your spouse is home or a sitter becomes available. Lay your baby down in front of you and begin with simple stretches and yoga poses. Then lift your baby up, rocking them gently to work on your upper body strength.

And once baby gains full head control, mommy and me yoga or basic aerobics classes are perfect. Baby makes a great weight for muscle toning or strength training too :)!

RELATED: Mommy & Me Yoga for New Moms

Time for household chores or errands

This is where baby-wearing becomes a life-saver! When your hands are free, and baby is securely attached to you, you have the ability to do whatever you need to do around the house without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.

I was given a couple baby carriers with my first son, but never used them much. I figured I could manage without them…and then I simply forgot about them.

But what a difference it makes when you are able to multitask with baby by your side!

Finding time for mommy’s “me” time

You obviously want to bond with your new baby as much as you can, but you will also need time for yourself to keep your sanity.  After stimulating baby’s senses with simple play activities, remember that there will also be times when independent play time will be essential for his continued development. Lay him on a gym mat, give him a few toys and teethers (here’s a simple tummy-time activity we love!) and watch from the other end of the room.  This will keep your worries at bay, but still leave time for you to catch up with the things going on in the world (even if it is online).

Enjoy every minute with your new baby, but learn to make time throughout the day to keep your sanity…even if your baby isn’t asleep!

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

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The post 5 Ways to Find Time for Yourself with a New Baby appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.

Isn’t it every mother’s dream to nap while her children nap? Or perhaps it’s her dream to simply relish the moment and quietly tackle that never-ending to do list.

Whatever the reason for wanting your children to nap at the same time, believe me, every mother in the world understands it.

If you have a new baby or even an older baby, it’s important that everyone naps at the same time. Not only does it help keep your sanity, it’s a lot easier to have two kids sleeping at once so they don’t wake each other. Here are some tips for getting baby and toddler to nap at the same time.

Wear Them Out

After having several kids, one major tip I can give you is to make them tired. Let them run around, be crazy, and get excited because they are that much more likely to get to nap. Think about how much easier you fall asleep when you’ve been physically active and running around: You fall asleep that much easier!

It’s a simple, yet often overlooked tip to keep in mind.

Related: Burn-off Energy with an Indoor Play Gym

Lay Them Down at the Right Time

Kids can become overtired (or not tired enough!) at different points in the day. You have to nail down exactly what time they are tired and get them down for a nap. It’s called the window of nap opportunity. Trust me mamas, you do not want to miss this opportunity! Keep an eye out for those tell-tale signs of a tired kid: eye-rubbing, yawning or simply a calm demeanor. 

Keep Them on a Schedule

On top of trying to wear them out and lay them down at the right time, you’ll want to keep kids on a schedule. Waking up at the same time, having lunch at the same time, and even going to bed at the same time are great examples of having a schedule. Kids seem to do best whenever they know what’s coming. It’s quite amazing how the brain can adapt to a consistent schedule for the benefit of everyone!

Know What Time Works Best

Over time, you will start to notice what time works best for your kids to lay down for a nap. Some babies and toddlers nap better in the mid-morning and some nap better in the mid-afternoon. You really just have to start looking for patterns and see what works for them. You may find that after a few morning naps, your kids actually naps longer in the afternoon. It may take some trial and error, but you’ll figure out what works best for both.

Lay off the Sugar

Most kids are not going to nap at the same time as their baby sibling if they are full of sugar. The baby may be getting tired, but the toddler could go all day long. Watching what your toddler eats can help them sleep better at nap time. The same goes for a nursing baby, you may want to watch drinking caffeine at certain times to make sure it doesn’t interfere with their nap time. Think back to the last time you had coffee too late in the day, you couldn’t sleep, it has the same effect.

Don’t be discouraged if it takes awhile to get your baby and toddler to nap at the same time. Sometimes it just takes a little time for everyone to get adjusted.

However, if you follow these tips and are consistent, you will start noticing that what seemed impossible isn’t so far out of reach and soon BOTH kids will be snoozing at the same time, each day so you have a little hands-free time to yourself!

Related posts:

• Sleep Solutions: Tips to Help ALL Your Kids Sleep at Night
• Baby Sleep Tips During Daylight Savings

Ana @ Mommy's Bundle

Ana, a mom to three rambunctious little boys, has supported hundreds of thousands of women throughout their pregnancy and motherhood journey since 2012 as a blogger and maternal health advocate at MommysBundle.com.

mommysbundle.com

The post How to Get Your Baby & Toddler to Nap at the Same Time appeared first on Mommy's Bundle.